Inform Mac Client (Inform version 1.82/6.41/10.1.2)
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butteredtoast5
Inside the small metropolis that is Kansas City, there lives an Internet troll. Not any ordinary troll living under nasty bridges and eating goats and wayward children. But an Internet one and that meant annoyance. His name is Billy Davis and he claims to be part actor, part musician, and part philosopher.
What is it like during a week in the life of Billy Davis? Is it glitz and glamour? Not even in the slightest!
Buttered Toast, the Billy Davis Island Adventure
An Interactive Fiction by the Artificers
Release 1 / Serial number 230531 / Inform 7 v10.1.2 / D
St. Murray's Pub
A dank, but faux, dive bar has a sparse amount of patrons. The walls are black wood panels. The floor is concrete. Along the wall nearest the entrance is the bar with its dark wood construction.
You can see Bartender and ye flask here.
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philosophize
His day starts with him writing what he considers philosophy. Once he sent his writings to the pre-eminent philosopher of the day, a Mr. John Hughes. After consuming one too many adult beverages one night, Mr. Hughes read Billy's works for a good laugh. Hughes went through each page like they were kindling and his eyes were fire. By the end, Hughes writes "The world is sometimes challenged by individuals and their thinking. The writings of Billy Davis not only challenge your world views of the rights of man, they draw to light exactly what those rights are and why they were given to Billy Davis" deranged mind." Billy wrote Hughes a thank you letter for his praise.
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sing
He also performs music, which is certainly the cacodaemonical sounds from the elder gods. He made an eponymous music album called "Billy Davis Knows the Blues". Critics still are utterly flummoxed how someone can confuse the musical style of blues with synth-pop.
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act
He acts on stage. The crew and cast would rather he didn't. Many of his cast members draw comparisons between Billy Davis and the phrase "man child" in his personality, stage presence, and acting abilities.
This guy is going embark on a wild tale unlike any he ever tells before. However, he needs a drink first because that's where all good adventures begin.
At that moment, the most beautiful and ravashing woman walks into the bar.
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St. Murray's Pub
A dank, but faux, dive bar has a sparse amount of patrons. The walls are black wood panels. The floor is concrete. Along the wall nearest the entrance is the bar with its dark wood construction.
You can see Mysterious Woman, Bartender and ye flask here.
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x woman
A most beautiful woman with dark, ruddy hair. You have the urge to keep striking up a conversation with her.
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x bartender
A rough and tumble man with hair like the Quaker Oats Man.
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talk to bartender
"I hope you know your money isn't good here, Billy Davis," growls the bartender.
"What? Of course, it is! I'm most certainly on the $100 bill," replies Billy Davis with a hurt tone in his voice.
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get ye flask
You can't get ye flask.
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talk to woman
"Hey, baby! What yo name is? I've forgotten mine," he says with glowing pride.
"Barbara. And aren't you someone interesting and yet strangely familiar."
"It's me! Billy Davis. The famous blues musician."
She laughs and laughs, possibly because she knows his synth-pop themed "blues" album that is still available on all your unpopular streaming platforms of today. This gets them going for the night.
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talk to woman
At one point in the evening, Billy Davis used his fullest flirting potential.
He smiles at her and says "So, I'm scouting out locations for a new movie that I'm making. You'd love it!"
"Oh?"
"It's about a bunch of scientists that decided to resurrect dinosaurs using DNA found inside of a prehistoric mosquito trapped in amber. These scientist take the dinosaurs to an island and call it Triassic Island! But things go awry when -"
"This sounds a lot like Jurrasic Park."
"It's different. Trust me. Spielberg used real dinos for his movie. They ran amok and ate people. It was a real mess. I'll be using animatronics."
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talk to woman
The night continues on and they talk well up to closing time for the bar. He orders her one last drink to which the bartender scoffs, but pours anyways.
Minutes later, he and the woman are walking out of St. Murray's Pub hand in hand because it really does turn out that the money from Billy Davis isn't good at the bar. Incidentally, St. Murray's thinks her money is good. They round the corner when Billy Davis felt a smack at the back of his head. This is the last thing he remembers for a while.
Island Cove
A wonderous island cove where multi-colored, tropical fish swim near the surface in search of food and the water is a wonderful shade of sea green. Disgusting!
Waking up from a horrendous nightmare of which he cannot place, Billy Davis looks around to see where he is now. When he last remembered being conscious, it is outside St. Murray's Pub. Instead of that familiar location, it is a luscious island! His head hurt. It hurt like a million Lars Ulrichs simultaneously used his head as their personal drums. It might have been the whiskey he drank. It might have been something else. At any rate, he is lost. He is lost on an island and he knew not where on Earth he is.
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x me
You do a quick check. All your parts and pieces are in tact, including your nose. You look inside your pockets, which you vigorously rifle through. Nothing of value outside pocket lint and a scrap of paper containing the words "SPLORK XYZZY".
"Splork this," You exclaim, "I've been wallet-napped!"
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Island Cove
A wonderous island cove where multi-colored, tropical fish swim near the surface in search of food and the water is a wonderful shade of sea green.
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