Inform Mac Client (Inform version 1.82/6.41/10.1.2) butteredtoast5 Inside the small metropolis that is Kansas City, there lives an Internet troll. Not any ordinary troll living under nasty bridges and eating goats and wayward children. But an Internet one and that meant annoyance. His name is Billy Davis and he claims to be part actor, part musician, and part philosopher. What is it like during a week in the life of Billy Davis? Is it glitz and glamour? Not even in the slightest! Buttered Toast, the Billy Davis Island Adventure An Interactive Fiction by the Artificers Release 1 / Serial number 230531 / Inform 7 v10.1.2 / D St. Murray's Pub A dank, but faux, dive bar has a sparse amount of patrons. The walls are black wood panels. The floor is concrete. Along the wall nearest the entrance is the bar with its dark wood construction. You can see Bartender and ye flask here. > license Copyright (C) 2023 William R. Moore This work is licensed under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. To view a copy of the license, visit https://rezrov.xyz/caranmegil/butteredtoast5/. > philosophize His day starts with him writing what he considers philosophy. Once he sent his writings to the pre-eminent philosopher of the day, a Mr. John Hughes. After consuming one too many adult beverages one night, Mr. Hughes read Billy's works for a good laugh. Hughes went through each page like they were kindling and his eyes were fire. By the end, Hughes writes "The world is sometimes challenged by individuals and their thinking. The writings of Billy Davis not only challenge your world views of the rights of man, they draw to light exactly what those rights are and why they were given to Billy Davis" deranged mind." Billy wrote Hughes a thank you letter for his praise. > sing He also performs music, which is certainly the cacodaemonical sounds from the elder gods. He made an eponymous music album called "Billy Davis Knows the Blues". Critics still are utterly flummoxed how someone can confuse the musical style of blues with synth-pop. > act He acts on stage. The crew and cast would rather he didn't. Many of his cast members draw comparisons between Billy Davis and the phrase "man child" in his personality, stage presence, and acting abilities. This guy is going embark on a wild tale unlike any he ever tells before. However, he needs a drink first because that's where all good adventures begin. At that moment, the most beautiful and ravashing woman walks into the bar. > l St. Murray's Pub A dank, but faux, dive bar has a sparse amount of patrons. The walls are black wood panels. The floor is concrete. Along the wall nearest the entrance is the bar with its dark wood construction. You can see Mysterious Woman, Bartender and ye flask here. > x woman A most beautiful woman with dark, ruddy hair. You have the urge to keep striking up a conversation with her. > x bartender A rough and tumble man with hair like the Quaker Oats Man. > talk to bartender "I hope you know your money isn't good here, Billy Davis," growls the bartender. "What? Of course, it is! I'm most certainly on the $100 bill," replies Billy Davis with a hurt tone in his voice. > get ye flask You can't get ye flask. > talk to woman "Hey, baby! What yo name is? I've forgotten mine," he says with glowing pride. "Barbara. And aren't you someone interesting and yet strangely familiar." "It's me! Billy Davis. The famous blues musician." She laughs and laughs, possibly because she knows his synth-pop themed "blues" album that is still available on all your unpopular streaming platforms of today. This gets them going for the night. > talk to woman At one point in the evening, Billy Davis used his fullest flirting potential. He smiles at her and says "So, I'm scouting out locations for a new movie that I'm making. You'd love it!" "Oh?" "It's about a bunch of scientists that decided to resurrect dinosaurs using DNA found inside of a prehistoric mosquito trapped in amber. These scientist take the dinosaurs to an island and call it Triassic Island! But things go awry when -" "This sounds a lot like Jurrasic Park." "It's different. Trust ​me. Spielberg used real dinos for his movie. They ran amok and ate people. It was a real mess. I'll be using animatronics." > talk to woman The night continues on and they talk well up to closing time for the bar. He orders her one last drink to which the bartender scoffs, but pours anyways. Minutes later, he and the woman are walking out of St. Murray's Pub hand in hand because it really does turn out that the money from Billy Davis isn't good at the bar. Incidentally, St. Murray's thinks her money is good. They round the corner when Billy Davis felt a smack at the back of his head. This is the last thing he remembers for a while. Island Cove A wonderous island cove where multi-colored, tropical fish swim near the surface of the water in search of food and the water is a wonderous shade of sea green. Disgusting! The forbidding sea is to the west. Waking up from a horrendous nightmare of which he cannot place, Billy Davis looks around to see where he is now. When he last remembered being conscious, it is outside St. Murray's Pub. Instead of that familiar location, it is a luscious island! His head hurt. It hurt like a million Lars Ulrichs simultaneously used his head as their personal drums. It might have been the whiskey he drank. It might have been something else. At any rate, he is lost. He is lost on an island and he knew not where on Earth he is. > x me Billy does a quick check. All his parts and pieces are in tact, including his nose. He looks inside his pockets, which he vigorously rifles through. Nothing of value outside pocket lint and a scrap of paper containing the words "SPLORK XYZZY". "Splork this," he exclaims, "I've been wallet-napped!" > i You are carrying: Cryptic paper > x paper A yellowed scrap of paper with the words "SPLORK XYZZY" scribbled on it. > w Sea The warm water laps against your body. You go further into the sea. Unfortunately, you've gone too far and the shoreline is nowhere in sight. After some time, you realiize that your limbs are starting to give. After more time, your limbs give and you sink deeper into the gluttonous sea! *** The End *** Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last command? > e Island Pool Deciding to do something about his situation, Billy Davis set out to explore this paradise-like Hell in which he finds himself. Several tortuous hours through lush trees and dry, prickly brambles that tore his clothes and skin revealed at the other side of this forest is a large pool of water. And bathing in it are several monkeys and an elephant. You can see troop of monkeys and elephant here. > *** x troop A troop (or barrel if you prefer) of varying colors of monkeys are near you. They're just chittering away doing monkey business. "Oh! Sweet! I can ride that elephant and train those monkeys to do my bidding," he shouted with supreme excitement. It is then he day dreams about how life on this island would be if he bends that barrel to his very will! It starts with the beginning of any given day. First, Billy wakes up in his hammock sewn from sturdy vines. Yawning, a helpful monkey would scamper up with a hot cup of what is presumably island coffee, which could be made from coffee beans or something entirely different, he has no idea what it really is. All he knows is that it is good, strong, and wakes him up. Next, he exits his hut to be presented with the assemblage of his troop for inspection. With intense pride, he examines each monkey for any stolen items out his hut. In this dream, a monkey has his pocket watch. So, in proper fashion, he has the monkey executed. Billy wakes up from this dream laughing meniacally, but soon discovers that his loud noises had startled the monkeys who left while he dreamed. > x monkey A troop (or barrel if you prefer) of varying colors of monkeys are near you. They're just chittering away doing monkey business. "Oh! Sweet! I can ride that elephant and train those monkeys to do my bidding," he shouted with supreme excitement. It is then he day dreams about how life on this island would be if he bends that barrel to his very will! It starts with the beginning of any given day. First, Billy wakes up in his hammock sewn from sturdy vines. Yawning, a helpful monkey would scamper up with a hot cup of what is presumably island coffee, which could be made from coffee beans or something entirely different, he has no idea what it really is. All he knows is that it is good, strong, and wakes him up. Next, he exits his hut to be presented with the assemblage of his troop for inspection. With intense pride, he examines each monkey for any stolen items out his hut. In this dream, a monkey has his pocket watch. So, in proper fashion, he has the monkey executed. Billy wakes up from this dream laughing meniacally, but soon discovers that his loud noises had startled the monkeys who left while he dreamed. > x elephant A large, grey elephant is bathing and playing in the pool of water. > l Island Pool A large pool of water is before you. You can see elephant here. > ride elephant Billy Davis says "Well, Mr. or Mrs. Elephant! I don't really know which you are - oh looks like a girl - I'm gonna ride you through this here forest and get the hecka outta here!" On the first attempt at riding, the elephant just sprayed him with water. He wipes the water off his face and shakes his fist at her saying "Oh! A wise-gal, eh?" > ride elephant On the second attempt, the elephant uses her trunk to drag him under the water and lets him go to drown in peace. He thought, "If only I hadn't spent all those summers at the pool checking out women and had just spent them learning to swim! Maybe, I have a chance. If only I can be a frog!" And try as he might, he is not able to transform himself into a frog as that's just a ridiculous concept for a human. I mean, seriously, can a frog be a human or a human be a frog. All these existential thoughts never cross the mind of Billy Davis because he is using all of his wits, of which there are little available, even in reserve, focusing on getting out of this situation. As he sinks, the elephant takes pity on him and she drags him out of the water. "Whew!", sighed Billy, "I was almost a goner! Thank you, man's best friend!" And he gently pats the elephant on her hide. At that moment, the elephant gets startled, leaves the pool towards the east in a mighty rush, and leaves Billy Davis in the warm loneliness of the island. > e Island Wilderness Feeling absolutely dejected at the loss of the potential ride and source of companionship, if it is possible with a pachyderm, Billy sets off through the wilderness once more. Instead, he chooses to wander from the pool towards where the elephant went. His rationale is that he can probaby catch up or be lead to more elephants, which means he can satisfy another issue: his growing hunger. Again, he searches his pockets as if there is something different in them than earlier in the day. Again, he only finds the scrap of paper with the words "SPLORK XYZZY" scrawled across it. The wilderness extends everywhere around you. > jl That's not a verb I recognise. > l Island Wilderness It is a lush wilderness inside the island. The wilderness extends everywhere around you. > x paper "By, Crom!", Billy professes, "this note has to mean something. But what? But how? But where?" > e Island Wilderness With a great sigh, he plunges on through the less brambly forest but ever increasing in muginess. After some time, it is getting dire. The world is hazy with water vapor. He wishes that he somehow got water from that pool where the animals did their bathing and playing. That water has to be potable, he figured, because a monkey will not play in foul water. The wilderness extends everywhere around you. > e Clearing Finally, a clearing is reached! Billy Davis sees before him a huge, grassy valley with a river running through it. Success! Water. Rushing down the hillside, he reaches the stream and takes several satisfying gulps of cool water. "That really hits the spot! Now, if only there's some way I can put all this into a container!" At that moment, he hears the sound of several feet splashing loudly and human voices chanting in a strange tongue. > x barrel A troop (or barrel if you prefer) of varying colors of monkeys are near you. They're just chittering away doing monkey business. "Oh! Sweet! I can ride that elephant and train those monkeys to do my bidding," he shouted with supreme excitement. It is then he day dreams about how life on this island would be if he bends that barrel to his very will! It starts with the beginning of any given day. First, Billy wakes up in his hammock sewn from sturdy vines. Yawning, a helpful monkey would scamper up with a hot cup of what is presumably island coffee, which could be made from coffee beans or something entirely different, he has no idea what it really is. All he knows is that it is good, strong, and wakes him up. Next, he exits his hut to be presented with the assemblage of his troop for inspection. With intense pride, he examines each monkey for any stolen items out his hut. In this dream, a monkey has his pocket watch. So, in proper fashion, he has the monkey executed. Billy wakes up from this dream laughing meniacally, but soon discovers that his loud noises had startled the monkeys who left while he dreamed. >